Smokey the Bear, Phone Your Office

There's a new ad playing on the radio. Two policemen are at the scene of the latest mass murder: this one, they estimate, killed "about fifteen thousand." The culprit? "That dad over there, with his kids," who accidentally set a wildfire while barbequeing.

Well, who likes wildfires? But a quick look at Billion Dollar U.S. Weather Disasters, 1980–2004 says that
in the most recent decade, wildfires have killed fewer than 50 people, total.

(Oh, you didn't mean people? You meant, like, deer and trees and stuff? Did you count mice? ants? bacteria? As Joe Friday might say, investigating such a mass murder, "Just the facts, ma'am.")

Another disingenuous ad brought to you by the U.S. Forest Service and the Ad Council. I expect the Ad Council to make stuff up, but the Forest Service is paying for this made-up stuff with my money. I suppose there wasn't really a talking "Smokey the Bear," either, but no one ever believed there was.

Immediately following was an ad from some private NGO, asking for donations to help kids in Columbia, where child abuse rates are 46%, because unemployment is 80%. Shocking.

If it were true.

The CIA Factbook, which is usually pretty good with raw data, puts 2004 unemployment in Columbia at 13.6%, which only slightly above, um, Germany, where it's at 12.5%.

Okay, sure -- the Germans used to abuse some children. But I don't think the Jews ever made up 46% of their population.