Does somebody need a spanking?

My parents would laugh about the fact that they'd used the line, "Stop crying or I'll spank you," and it worked.

Now comes research that spanking cures depression:

”The whipping therapy becomes much more efficient when a patients receives the punishment from a person of the opposite sex. The effect is astounding: the patient starts seeing only bright colors in the surrounding world, the heartache disappears, although it will take a certain time for the buttocks to heal, of course,” Sergei Speransky told the Izvestia newspaper.

Remember, now, "Pravda" means "Truth."